During his Civil War service he corresponded with a Miss Sophia M. Smith, writing under the name of Richard Rolfe. These letters, with others written during this time, give the only information about Realf's movement. 1 On October 8th 1865, he enrolled as a Second Lieutenant in Company K of the 50th United States Colored infantry at Jackson, Missouri and was promoted to First lieutenant on February 1st 1866 in Company H. He was mustered out of this service at Vicksburg, Mississippi, on 20th March 1866. In August 1866 he enrolled in the regular Army at Rochester, New York and was finally discharged as a Private on August 26th 1868.

During these years, Realf committed an act which would lead to later tragedy. On 10th June 1865, while on leave in Michigan City, USA, he married Sophia Emery Graves. Hinton tells us that she was a teacher. In August or September Richard went South to take up his commission in the Colored Regiment already mentioned. He wrote to his wife until 24th February 1866 when he said that the regiment was about to be mustered out. 2 Sophia never saw Realf or heard from him again, though she heard about him. She seems to have decided that, if he didn't want to be married, she would leave him alone.

During 1866, Richard flirted with the idea of joining the Oneida Community in New York. This was an experimental religious community and Realf, long since cut off from his earlier fascination with the Roman Catholic Church, wrote several letters proposing to join the organisation. However, he did not do so. 3

[1] Letters from Richard Realf to Miss Smith in Pamela Patterson's study of Realf

[2] See Memoir in "Poems by Richard Realf" Ed. R. R. Hinton, 1898, page lxv

[3] See Memoir in "Poems by Richard Realf" Ed. R. R. Hinton, 1898, page lxxv